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Thursday August 7th, 2008

Top Business Stories

 

George W. Bush Goes in for hemorrhoid surgery this week. Doctors warn of potential complications due to the close proximity of the hemorrhoid to Bush's brain.
Smashed.Net - Hosting that stays crunchy in milk.

Top Market Stories

Microsoft releases Windows XP this week. The new os is reportedly causing the spontaneous combustion of any machine it comes into contact with. We recently interviewed a developer from the Redmond based schlopware giant, who told us that XP was short for eXPlode.
Verizon Wireless has just published the results of a five year study on the benefits to cellular phone radiation. Among other health benefits, the report mentions improved vision in some people through the growth of a third eye.


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